(Why am i writing in English? I love to write in english because it is a nice feeling that by using english one can connect with Go players all over the world ... but i`m not a native speaker and my abilities to write in english are not very good ... maybe you enjoy my writing here anyway...)
It is still semester break time here in Germany (Stuttgart), so there was much time to play some Go again!
Each time when i don`t play for a couple of months, i wonder how i could live without it!? But a break from time to time, might be good to improve one's play. If i don`t play for a while ... i always come back with a fresh perspective and the way i look upon the board is changing.
Besides that, if i play every day for a long time, Go, even if it is still a lot of fun then, looses a bit of it`s "magic" ... i mean this special feeling and excitement about the game itself, which i had especially when i first started to learn the rules: That was one weak after seeing the movie "PI" (Older post with youtube links ) again, a great film by Darren Aronofsky - with some wonderfull go scenes.
At the moment i`m a 6 Kyu on kgs and still a 17 (yes seventeen) Kyu at wbaduk.
As i mentioned before in a older post, ("Loosing at Wbaduk is Fun" )
i guess the players at Wbaduk (mostly koreans, chinese and japanese people) are playing a much different style compared to the average KGS user. I don`t bellive that the Kyu-ranks are actually really differing more than 50%, but somehow for me it is still hard to win against Wbaduk players ... there might be several reasons for this ... one of course is the psychological aspect ... if you want something too badly this "wanting" may work as a strong blockade.
Anyway ... after this breaks of several month, i clearly see my other, most important problem ... whether i play at Kgs, Wbaduk, or on the real board:
The disability to play "serious"!
In all my games, regardless if i won or loose, i play several (mostly in important moments) moves, like Go was a game game of luck...
But Go is not a game of luck, it has nothing to do with luck - or better - ... it should not have to do something with luck.
For example, it is your opponents turn and you suddenly see a move which would be very damaging for you, but your opponent was not able to see it ... why am i happy in this situation?
I started to reject that ... now , i think ... "this is maybe your best move, please play it, or play a better one" ... i think it is not about winning, it is about playing good and intensive games ...
The other aspect of treating Go like a game of luck is connected with ones own moves ... not thinking, like playing roulette.
Of course, from time to time, i do read out sequences and life and death problems ... sometimes very hardly, and i misread them, or can`t read any further ... that`s no problem for me, in this case, this reading, is ones own true strength...
But very often i don`t do it, then i don`t read at all and play like a car driver with closed eyes ... because i`m too lazy ... and because i do like this "just use the force thing" where you rely totally on your intuition. It`s not like i could not do it ... it is just this laziness which holds me back.
What would Yodas advice be? :-)
If it`s not fun & interesting to read sequences as hard and as long as i can - why then is there this desire to become a stronger Go player?
Maybe i should ask myself this question the next time i suddenly want to play somewhere without thinking about the consequences.
This attitude to play without thinking is not what Takemiya Masaki means when he says "you have to play wherever you want" ... as i understand his advice it is connected with thinking ... if you think this move, even if it maybe looks unusual or risky, or you can`t read it out ... is the best ... you should always play it ... what i mean is just this attitude of "playing like in a blitz game", when you actually have much time to think.
In the movie "PI" , which i mentioned above, the professor, and stronger player, is telling the other guy "don`t think, just feel, use your intuition"! (youtube) Of course intuition is very important as well ... but i think it`s in the script because it sounds cool. ;-)
I believe a very good go player or teacher would always say quite the contrary: "Think! Read out this sequence, read out this live and death problem!"
I think i have to ask myself , if i really want to become, not a better, but a serious Go player... if i really like to play ... to really play ... Go.
Being serious means being thoughtful - in life and in Go.
“You should look at the board and play wherever you want to. This is the way to get stronger.” Takemiya Masaki